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Kelly Hornberger

my life these days…

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It looks like this a lot…in my head…but not in my real life.

I wish so badly for time to give myself peace.  Time to spend alone in the quiet, in the word, just relishing in His glorious creation.

I aim so high every single night.  Setting my alarm for early hours in the dark of the day.  Time when I know all the house is silent.  Time that I can just absorb His words for me…for our sons…for our marriage….anything…what I wouldn’t give to get back in the habit of journaling…something I love so much.

But every morning…when the alarm goes off, I negotiate.  I negotiate all my time away.  Every last moment.

Now it’s time to race around like a crazy woman getting the boys ready for school…MAKING…yes, MAKING them eat their breakfast…packing lunches…getting them dressed…brushing teeth…making sure they have all the things they need at school for that day…the list goes on…and then all of a sudden it stops…they are gone…and I am EXHAUSTED.

Pathetic, right?

I mean I didn’t even get up early to have quiet time…and I am exhausted.  Well…yes, of course…my cup is empty…and gets even emptier when I then begin to think of how far behind I am in work.  It is at this point every day, that I want to curl up in a ball on my bed and never wake up.  So pathetic..so pathetic.

These are the things that I love….in no certain order…

time with my family.

being organized.

time working.

time serving…in any capacity

exercise.

time with the Lord.

time with friends.

It is physically impossible to do them all and to do them all well.

Anytime I focus on one of these AT LEAST one of the others suffers.  And to be honest….the time with the Lord is usually one of the first to go…for whatever reason my prideful self thinks that I can do it all…on my own.

Today is a prime example.  I got up, after sleeping through my alarm.  Got the boys ready, got them off to school, exercised, emailed…all before anytime with God…and now I sit here writing this post, convicted…but thankful for the time I now have after pushing publish to sit in His glory.

I cannot wait to tell you all more about Costa Rica.  I cannot wait to get those of you touched involved on our next trip.

But that will have to come in time.  I cannot do it all.  And I know that the timing of that post will be perfect even if it is 2 months past due…

soooo….

All of this post is summed up to just say…yet again…be patient with me…I am trying to do everything I can…but I cannot do it on my own.

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