“The blog will always be a blog. The minions will not always be minions. Make sure the right thing suffers, friend. Love you!” – Kasey
They say you become who you hang around. Well if that is the case then I will someday become INCREDIBLY wise. I am so blessed to have become surrounded by some WISE, WISE, WISE people in my life. The line above was a comment left on an instagram a week ago in answer to a comment of feeling like these days I cannot breathe. The summers are hard. We all know this as moms. Moms who work, or moms who don’t we all struggle with trying to keep the kids stimulated, entertained, while not running from event to event all in the sake of trying to keep our sanity. It NEVER works. It is inevitable…they get bored…and I am ok with them getting bored and “FORCING” them to use their imaginations, but that weighs heavily on my frustration level…”mom, what can we do?” “mom, what are you doing?”, “mom, what are we going to do next?”….ahhhhhh…make it stop.
Then when they are entertained, how long will it last?? You never know, so no real task can be started. Because if you start one and you get interrupted 10 mins in or one hour in, you are so frustrated…so not fair to them.
It’s a battle with no win…
So this is my daily struggle. Topped off with a cherry of …look at that HUGE stack of work piling up…stuff that is from almost a year ago…you have not gotten to that yet?!? FAILURE!
AND…this does not even take into account the time that I have to try and shut off my brain and spend quality time with Joe. SERIOUSLY?
So, when I posted the instagram of “Ever have seasons of life you cannot breathe? You have so much going on in your head you have no clue/desire/gumption to start?
…God spoke.
I was at my wits end…and God showed up through my incredibly wise friend Kasey…and for that I am so grateful.
So as you can see I have taken her words to heart the past couple of weeks. The blog has crumbled…the fun with my boys has not. We have so enjoyed late nights out, sweet talks in bed, trips to the HOT park, sweating it out for the sake of love…it has all be awesome.
It is so hard to run a business and be a mom and a wife. When you have your own business you only get out of it as much as you put in. So, in the case of this summer not much fruit has been produced…because not much planting has been done. It is such a double edged sword that I get so mad at all too often. I get mad at the fact that I do not have enough time. I actually get mad at the fact that my body needs sleep. Dang body…life is too short.
And then I remember…why am I here? And that is when I find peace. Kasey, you’re right…the blog is just a blog. I am here for relationships. I cannot get anything in return from my blog…so why would I invest so much effort into it if I do not have it at the moment? I started this business on my love for my friends getting married. I wanted to rally around them, document their voyage and through Joe and I, show them how to be real in love and marriage and in turn change the world.
I lost sight of that last year. I am coming back around this year, and the catch up and slap in the face of it all is strong. I have had to come to the REALLY hard realization that just because I invest so much time and effort into my clients they will not always love me back. My family will. My family are the ones who need my 100%, not my clients who sometime say thank you. OUCH…that was so hard to say. I love each and every one of my couples, like I love my friends…you are my friends, but there is no way that I can do it all. NO WAY. And seriously, I thought that I could. When you have your own business the highs and lows of it are the same of that highs and lows of your spiritual life. I’ve been so low for so long, it almost became a norm. I am coming out of a low and it feels so good and stings so bad all at the same time. It’s hard to be real…you all knowing my baggage…you all knowing how I suck in my business…but I don’t think my business would survive if I didn’t air out all my dirty laundry…I founded it all on my faith…and it is faith in my God that I know this battle will not win over me.