Hurts so good. Gosh y’all I have been so bad at this blogging this this year. It makes me so so sad. It’s not the lack of wanting to. It’s the lack of time and all that I want to do. This year has been a beautiful beautiful time of restoration and reflection. I still have no idea what direction God is moving me but I do know that things are changing around here both with the placement of our time and the passion behind our efforts. This summer was hot and crazy. What was I thinking not hiring help and saying yes to so many weddings? Live and learn, don’t we?
Because of the fact that we did have so many weddings and NO time to work I got insanely stressed. So eventhough this summer was a beautiful blessing of super fun time spent with our boys, it was also a time we look back on with so much frustration and anxiety. The thoughts we had of accountability of time and ideas of schedules was so hard to actually accommodate. The working out, the intentional time, the goal sheets…it all got thrown to the curb with the realization we were so dang tired. Tired from the need to spend time with our boys and the never ending to do list and the lack of accomplishment in that to do list constantly running through our heads. Sinfully not wanting to just give it up to Him and rest in His provision.
Alas…the back to school season has been so welcomed. It has been so needed and so refreshing. We have been able to get so much done, not at all caught up, but chipping away on the to do list. I dream of days when I am on the ball. Excited to blog. Inspired to do inspirational adventures. Pumped to find workshops and learn new things and meet new people. I remember the days when this was exciting to me. What happened to that? Where has the desire gone? Is it changing? Is it moving? Or is it just buried beneath so much stuff I don’t even know how to find it again.
There are so many days I get so excited to accomplish so that I can get caught up to dream again, but all I really want to do it hide under my covers and sleep. What?!?
But I’m forging ahead and pushing myself to dream again.
Dream: (noun) indulge in daydreams, typically about something greatly desired.
God is so good. I am faithful in His plan. Now to live it out in the daily…and not be worried about the future.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?…
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?… But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow…”
Matt 6:25-34