(written August 10, 2017)

My amazing, strong, brave Jake-

Almost exactly one week ago our lives were rocked and the world took a dramatic turn when you were injured while playing a dodgeball game of some sort at Pine Cove camp.

While playing a fun game, a typical game, an every day game of dodgeball or something of that nature your head collided with one of your awesome counselors knees when you tripped and fell.  A fall that you always make…you and your cute, clumsy self, but one that took a turn no one could ever have planned, predicted or saved you from.

The game kept going on around you, and your amazing brother Brock ran to your side and screamed for the playing to stop…your amazing brother Brock.  It brings me to tears thinking about him now telling me the story of seeing your fall and running to your rescue.  What amazing brothers you have…do not ever take that for granted!  They will forever and always be your warriors, and you theirs.

You were immediately taken and put on a picnic table in and out of conscienceness.  

Your dad and I were actually away from camp down the road out on a run.  We came running up and one of the counselors was waiting for us awkwardly at the front gate.  He calmly tells us “Brock has been hurt” and the way that he said it made us flip.  Normally I do not fret.  I know that it is probably going to be something minor, but I also don’t think your dad and I have ever run so fast to get to you.  Luckily a truck was coming down the camp road towards us, and Joe flagged him down, made him turn around and drive us to the other side of the camp where we found you laying on your back on a picnic table with a bunch of people trying to hold you down.  I still at this point think you are Brock…even speaking to you, telling “Brock to calm down”….then I realize it is you, Jake.  The Jake that is resilient.  The Jake that always bounces back up.  Jake.  

You are in and out of conscienceness.  Like nothing I have ever seen before.  You were so upset with everyone around you.  Not normal for you.  The ambulance showed up and I was so thankful to get you away from the crowds of people so that you could breathe.  I really truly thought in that moment that might be all you needed.  Space and recuperation.  

They lift you into the ambulance on the stretcher and start to look you over.  Not sure if they were more worried about you than they let on, but they sure let this mom and dad breath a bit and didn’t rush, so that made me feel a little more at ease.  

I have no idea what else was going on around us.  People were coming up and trying to talk to us…I couldn’t think.  

They told us which hospital they would send their own son to in Tyler.  

I called over your counselor, and while trying to hold back tears, but not doing a good job, I told him it wasn’t his fault.  There was nothing that could be done differently.  That we were not at all upset with him.  I told him we love him.  It was all I knew to do.

Jake…Here begins your Ebenezer. Your “stone of help”.  Your Lord’s promise of power and protection.  

I rode in the front seat of the ambulance.  The first time I had not been allowed to ride in the back with my son.  That killed me.  All I could do was look back thru a small hole and see how you were doing.  You were not really alert and did not become alert throughout most of our ride.  You had a neck brace on you….just in case and you were limp.  The EMS and driver next to me did a good job of trying to small talk..something I really had no desire to do, but for some reason all I could think about was the fact that this happening had to do more with something else than specifically you.  Not sure what or who needed this more than us…and to truly try and remember that everything happens for a reason, and the Lord would not allow this without amazing reason and glory.  Who thinks like that in a moment like this?  Certainly not me….100% Jesus in me.  NO OTHER way.  Thank you Jesus for living in me.  

Your dad followed in the car behind us with two counselors…one of them the counselor who’s knee hit your head.  

Then you threw up.  A TON.  All over the sweet EMS lady in the back with you.  The lights were then put on and we raced on towards the emergency room.  

Your dad could not follow us as quickly, so upon arrival it was just you and me.  They whisked you into a room and immediately put you into a much more comfortable neck brace and took you to have a CT scan done to look at your head & neck.  The main concern?  TOO much throw up.  

You came back.  The DR on duty looked over your scan and did not seem to be too alarmed.  At that moment all I could think was “I will not let him discard this…I don’t feel easy about just watching you….I am going to have to fight for my son to get amazing care”.

But the Lord went before us.  By this time your dad had arrived and you threw up again.  A LOT. 

The Dr. told us he wanted to go ahead and send us to Dallas as a precautionary measure.  Not sure if he was just trying to keep me calm…or if he really didn’t think it was a big deal…but after signing away to ride with you in life flight you were intubated, so that you would not throw up on the helicopter and we went out to send your dad back to Pine Cove to get the brothers and all of our stuff to drive to Dallas.  I don’t even know if I kissed your dad.  I am sure I told him I love him…but it is a blur that I truly cannot remember. I really hope I kissed him and told him I loved him.  Surely.  But, it was then I watched your dad walk to the car while I was briefed on the safety rules of riding in the helicopter, emergency exits and all the things you don’t want to hear on a good day, much less the horrible day we were having.  But in those moments while we waited on you I was able to talk to the pilot.  Actually for a good while.  I have no idea what was happening to you during this time…maybe they were freaking out back behind those hospital doors, but I got to have a good chunk of convo with the pilot while they were getting you ready to transport.  One crazy God fact I learned in that convo was the fact that if the accident had happened on Wednesday, instead of Thursday we would not have been able to fly you there due to the horrible weather.  But today’s weather was perfect and we would not have much turbulence at all.  PTL.  Honestly Jake…not sure you would have made a 2 hour drive to Dallas.  

You were wheeled out completely out of it.  They loaded you in the chopper and we lifted off.  The pilot and the EMT’s were angels.  They calmed my nerves, they made me feel like this was no rush, they even took some pictures and video of you, that you still cannot look at, and I totally don’t blame you, but maybe one day, when this is all your testimony you will be able to see all of it and praise Jesus for His big miracles in your life.

In the air, finally over Dallas, all I could think was “Gosh I wish you could have seen the awesome Dallas skyline with me”.  What a way to cruise.  

We landed safe and sound in Dallas at The Children’s hospital and were taken to one of the rooms in the ER.  You being out calmed me tremendously.  I HATED seeing you in and out of it.  That killed me.  So while the drs did their evaluations I sat in the hallway and filled out the needed paperwork on you and tried not to think too hard.  I peaked around the corned to check on you as much as I could.  I talked to so many people that I will never remember.  I hugged and thanked the chopper EMT team over and over.  They had sons.  They got it.  

Meanwhile your amazing dad.  Oh man your amazing dad.  He was back in Tyler getting all of our stuff packed back up, and your awesome brothers picked up and ready for the drive to Dallas.  Sarah and Chris carpooled with him and ended up staying with your brothers at a nearby hotel overnight and the next day.  What a blessing to us for them to do that.  

I cannot even imagine the worry and the thoughts and the fear that was attacking your dad the entire drive.  You know he has such a hard time with that.  But the strength he found in the Lord to not loose it while your brothers drove with him in the back seat…all Jesus…and man your father is a rockstar.  I know you know it.  But you are so blessed by him.  Do not ever forget that.  I have never met a better one.  Thank you Jesus for a man who loves you more than anything in the world.  For a man who leads his family and loves his family as you would…and a man who is weak, but is made strong in You!

Back at the ER, you remain out.  I finally talk with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Whittemore who walks me thru the scenarios.  

You have bleeding in-between the brain and the skull.  Not sure if it will stop or continue…so you have to be monitored and rescanned in 6 hours.  He tells me that about 99% of the time no surgery is needed.  This set me a little at ease.  

The room clears.  I get to be with you.  I am thankful for the trip. For the drs. For the care.  For being in a place that I know you will get the best treatment, no matter the outcome.  I am still at peace.  I know that had to have been all the prayers.  At this point I post to social media.  At this point I got to witness the church body come alive.  At this point the prayers of the Lord’s people cry out for you Jake.

You suddenly awake…you try and pull out your breathing tube.  So glad I was sitting next to you and caught your hand.  I have to leave the room.  I cannot watch.  They get your tube out, and you have to learn to swallow again…as well as learn to close your mouth and let your teeth touch.  It kills me to watch you in pain.  But you are strong.  We calm you.  You let yourself relax.  Your angels calm you…you relearn to swallow and close your mouth.  All I can think is how badly I want to get you some water.  I know you have to be so thirsty.  You are not allowed to eat or drink, in case surgery is needed.  But oh so thankfully you are too tired…and you rest.  Not sure if you were asleep or unconscious….but at that point I was so thankful you were at peace.  

They got us a room in ICU…and we were wheeled up to wait for you to have another CT scan done and let you rest a little.  

ICU was so nice compared to the ER…but it was loud and crazy.  It was there though that we got your incredible night nurse Bridget.  Your guardian angel and my saving grace.  She was so kind and gentle and warm.  No one else the rest of the time in that hospital could compare.  Bridgett.  There are no words to begin to tell you how thankful I am for you.  NO WORDS.  But know now that I pray for you daily…you and your amazing son.  Thank you for being real and vulnerable and so so good to Jake, Joe and me under your care.  

It was now night time.  Joe was just arriving from Dallas and getting your brothers settled into the hotel for bed.  I had not eaten since breakfast.  Amazing Hayley came and dropped off a whole locker of food off, but I could not leave you side.  Eating could wait. 

10pm that night the drs came in and wheeled you out to get your next CT scan.  I went and walked alongside your bed as you were wheeled down the halls. Again, the prayers of His people held me.  It killed me seeing you in so much pain.  Laying down, in and out of it, having to be still…trying to help you understand to be calm.  What a whirlwind….one I honestly cannot remember much of.  But I do remember how you helped the tech’s pick yourself up and move from the bed to the CT scanner and back.  You are such a tough and brave young man.  I am so so proud of you, sweet boy.  

We returned to ICU and we waited for the results.  You went back to sleep.  

The results came back quick.  Your bleeding had tripled in size.  They explained to me in that moment you needed brain surgery that night.  It was now closer to 10:30pm.  I texted your dad immediately and told him to get here NOW.  He came ASAP.

The room went quiet.  It was just me and you sleeping and Bridget.  

She sat next to me and asked me if I was ok.  I lost it.

I had been so strong up to this point.  

Thank you Bridget.  Thank you for caring.  Thank you for doing what you do and with so much compassion and grace.  I could not have done it without you.

Again, the prayers of His people held me.  Joe arrived.  He was a wreck.  We held each other and cried.  Then we prayed. 

I honestly don’t remember much of these moments.  I do remember how much I wished I wasn’t there.  How much I wondered why you.  How much I thanked God for that crazy unexplainable peace…eventhough my heart hurt.  But in it all I KNEW that you were not ours and that Your heavenly father loves you SOOOOOO much more than we do…and that HIS ways are SO much bigger than ours…and it was in that I was SO confident…no matter the outcome of your amazing life.  NO matter the outcome.

I don’t even know how many times I kissed your face or how many times I told you that I loved you.  It was more than enough…but I still could have told you and kissed you more.  So thankful for those amazing kisses and whispers you will never know.  

It was 2am finally when you were taken away to have your surgery.  It was the scariest moment of my life watching you be wheeled out.  

Your dad and I knew we needed sleep….but there was no way I could.  So I layed down and waited.  

Those moments we later found out were moments that friends and family of ours were actually on their knees for you…moments that they were actually awakened from their sleep and whispered to pray for you.  Those moments I so look forward to being able to peak onto from a heavenly perspective someday and KNOW how many people were crying out on your behalf.  

Lord knows I have NO idea what I was praying.  I could not think.  I was so numb.  

So I just waited and tried not to think at all of the worst case scenarios that my mind so badly wanted to race to.  

Your dad rested a bit next to me.  I was so glad.  He had been through insane emotions that day….I was so glad to see him somewhat resting…his mind would have been racing way too much. 

The nurse called me and told me they were starting on the surgery and that you were doing awesome.  I hung up the phone and lost it quietly again.

1 hour and 30 minutes later Bridget came in, and I had a quick moment of fear, but then she assured us everything went amazingly and you would be back up soon.  WOW.  Thank you Jesus.  Thank you for a successful surgery at this point.  THANK YOU!  

Shortly after her news you came back to us.  Head covered with a towel where they had shaved your beautiful hair and opened up your scalp, but in a beautiful sleep.  You were hooked up to so many lines and IV’s but you were alive and well.  

The nurses made you comfortable, however you had an arterial IV in one of your arms that was so scary to think about you accidentally waking up and messing with.  The last thing we needed now was a bleed out…so I literally sat next to your bed for the next 4 hours holding onto you arm so you would not jerk awake and rip anything out.  

I loved praying for you.  I loved looking at you.  I loved thanking God for your survival.  I loved crying next to you.  I loved loving you and did not care at all about no sleep.  I loved those quiet moments next to your bed thanking God for your strength in this, the amazing medicine of today and the fact that you are now claimed by Jesus in all of this and satan was not going to win today.

That night was a sweet one.  One of your dad getting some rest.  One of sweet convos with Bridget and learning about her life, her son, her job.  She was a delight to get to know.  Learning of the beautiful blessing we had in your victory over death, when rooms around us were not having the same outcome.  

Around 6am I asked Joe to switch me, so I could get a couple hours of sleep.  

About 3 hours later I woke up and saw Uncle Dave in our room.  He had taken a crazy early morning flight after having just gotten home from CO the night before to be there with you.  WOW.  He also brought with him a monkey for your bed on loan from your cousin Travis (talk about making me and your dad cry, even when I felt like I didn’t have any more tears) as well as a lego set and some awesome artwork we later hug in the room on the 10th floor.  

Your mimi got there soon after that, and even Paul and Dylan drove all night from Houston to come up and be support.  Your Sitte and Auntie arrived on flights later in the afternoon and the outpouring of love and support was insane.  What incredible friends and family we have. 

Jenn Savery drove in with bags of needs from Target, sweatshirts, pants, deodorant, toothbrushes…she stayed thru the night and drove back the next morning.

But we still had some of the hardest obstacles to get through with you that day and night.  The first one being you needed to pee and you had had a catheter for surgery, so it was INSANELY painful for you.  The moments of supporting you in that pain were some of the worst I have had to face in parenting.  Listening to you CRY OUT Jesus’ name to come and help you and to take the pain away killed us.  

“Jesus, Jesus, help me…come back”  “why did this have to happen?” Those were the cries of your heart pouring out from your mouth.

As a parent being oh so helpless…Lord help me.  I will never forget the out reaching of your arm, reaching out to Jesus to provide you support.  Thank you Jesus that he was reaching out TO you and not hating you in those moments.  

Then getting you to trust us with the fact that peeing gets better.  Getting you to trust us with needing to drink and eat.  Getting you to trust us with helping to heal you.  Most of the time we had to let the nurses and doctors talk sense into you.  Imagine that…our amazingly hard-headed Jake needing to hear it from someone other than his parents.  Lord help us…please keep preparing men and women to speak into his life when we cannot.  

We were in ICU the whole next Friday pretty much.   However we received the news that another CT scan that you had done on that day showed that your bleeding had stopped growing and even started to drain well so reduce in size.  

Turns out you had fractured your scull and severed an artery and that was where the non-stopping bleeding was coming from.  Dr. Whittemore did an incredible job of opening your skull and cauterizing the artery and closing you back up and putting in a drain in the back of you skull to keep taking the blood and swelling out.

The news that we should be able to move him down to the Neuro floor and remove the drain on Saturday was so sweet.

While still in the ICU your brothers came to visit, but you were mostly asleep.  Boots, the dog came to visit…but you were asleep.  But once awake and getting to see your brother’s faces, though you could not show much emotion, due to weakness, you were SO pumped to see them.  I still remember while you were in the emergency room in Tyler, the main thing you kept asking me about when awake was where your brothers were…it was the sweetest question, and one I will never forget you asking.  I LOVE how much you three love eachother.  Please do not ever stop.  

I honestly cannot remember too much of Friday.  Pretty sure it was total lack of sleep.  I remember that most of the day was spent in the ICU…your dad and I got out for “lunch” and got to walk outside in the cafeteria area and pretty well just sat, talked a bit and cried.  What a whirlwind.  

So many came to visit and wanted to visit you.  You are so so loved and rich in friends.  The prayers of his people were heard.  I wish I had a way to write down ALL of the texts and messages on instagram and facebook.  Literally hundreds of thousands of prayers from all over the world.  Australia, Croatia, England, Estonia, Asia and SO many places across the US.  So much love for you that carried your father and me.  

Beautiful words spoken over your life by your sweet Aunt Cat and Uncle Dave:

A friend of theirs from South Africa:

“First I felt peace that Jake will be fine.  This will certainly be a marker in his life, what the enemy tried to steal from him, God will multiply.  I heard Jake will be an influencer, people will admire him, even as a young man he will experience favor with people.  I had a feeling of him being strategic in relationships and connections. Jake will set out to be very successful.”

Your uncle Dave got Jeremiah 1:7-10 for you.  

Your aunt Cat texted me in the middle of your surgery with this:

“Thinking about Jake right now an immediately saw him in the middle of a field surrounded by mountains on either side, and he’s playing baseball with Jesus.  Just an easy fun game where Jesus is pitching and pitch after pitch, Jake’s cracking them out.  He’s so relaxed and happy and just laughing thru it.  While everyone else is anxious and tense right now, Jake is just having a blast with Jesus.”

The Egerts, the Hopkins, the Sapaughs, the Burks, my biblestudy girls and SO SO SO SO MANY others were on their knees the night of your surgery praying for your cause.

That evening we got the transfer.  What a blessing. All of the paperwork finally went thru for you to be moved to the floor below…and wow…the calmness and quietness was such a welcomed world from the ICU.  

The next two nights you actually slept…we slept a tiny bit as well…but you woke up in the middle of both nights with horrible anxiety attacks.  One having to do with the peeing…the next just totally out of nowhere.  The exhaustion, the desire to be normal all accumulated and I truly think the attacks of Satan on your mind.  Your dad prayed them off of you, you took a huge breath in and feel back asleep.  Thank you Jesus and your mighty power.  

Saturday got better than Friday, but was still hard.  We were woken up by the surgery team coming to check out your drain.  It was still filling up too much with blood and drainage.  

This KILLED your dad and I.  Sent us into all the “whys” of you still bleeding.  The thoughts of having to do another surgery, or even worse damage to the brain.  

But yet again, your warriors started praying on your behalf.  Your brothers came to the hospital to visit along with Jack and Hudson and their mom and dad, Chase & Lauren.  This was the first time we saw you smile.  We put you in a wheelchair and went downstairs to look at the train set up.  You were so tired and totally not yourself, but watching your brothers, Brock especially, love on you was amazing.  Jack and Hudson did some dancing for you and you actually giggled a little.  So thankful for your amazing smile.  You have the most beautiful smile sweet boy!

Mimi took your brothers and left for Friendswood.  This killed us all.  You cried, all you wanted to do was get up and play with them and go back home.  All you wanted was to be normal like them.  I so badly wanted them to be able to stay and cheer you up, but also knew that they needed to get back.  So thankful for Mimi driving up to help us with them.  

The rest of the day we got to hang out with you.  It was sweet and hard all at the same time.  You had good moments and really sad moments.  You kept asking through tears “why this had to happen.”  Mr. Turner, Miss Vic, and her mom brought us dinner Friday & Saturday night.  To see them both was amazing.  To talk to them both was perfect.  To be here in Dallas and get a moment with them was perfection.  

So many people came out of the woodwork to help us.  People from Houston who just happened to be in Dallas at the time.  People who we didn’t even remember that lived in Dallas.  No meal wasn’t provided for.  Thank you, Jesus for making us RICH, RICH, RICH in friends.  We are in abundance…and for that I could not say thank you enough.  The stuffed animal in the picture below with Jake holds an especially dear place in all of our hearts and is one he still sleeps with (and he does not sleep with stuff).  It was delivered with balloons from his 1st grade teacher Ms. Willard, a woman we could not love more, a woman who has been thru the fire with her family and come out still loving on others around her, like our sweet Jake.  This will be a gesture I will NEVER forget.  Thank you Ms. Willard!  THANK YOU!

You didn’t have an appetite at all…and could barely keep anything down after getting some meds you hated.  Seeing you like this sucked…all we wanted was for you to eat and drink and get some nourishment.  The Hospital was toxic for you.  

We had more amazing visitors….the Landers came and loved you with sugar and took a moment to pray over you in your hospital bed while Joe and I were actually away from the hopsital taking a shower in a local hotel.  I love that your sitte and Auntie were there with you during that moment.

Our amazing friend Thad called to check on you.  He is your superintendent.  Joe told him of the worry we have with what school and learning is going to be like for you going forward.  He told Joe…do not worry about one thing…Jake’s principals, teachers and I are all working on this and we will have a plan to get him back and for school to work out just perfectly.  Friendswood….you have blown us away. Remember, God,  when I said I would NEVER move back??  Man…you knew we would need this…you knew all of this…none of this was a surprise to You.

Sunday we spent most of the day praying for you to stop bleeding.  To not have the next CT scan come back with an unexplainable amount of blood still in the area.  

You had another anxiety attack that night and even in trying to give you some pain meads you freaked out and ended up throwing it all back up…so pain meds were no longer something we could give to you without your freaking out.  Your dad and I were so worried about you not keeping any of the fluids you were taking down you not eating and you not wanting to try and get up and take walks around the hallways.  Your dad read the Hobbit to you every night.  He is such a good reader…voices and all.  This calmed you so so much.  Thank you God for the gift you put in Tolkien to write these amazing stories that take us away from where we are currently into a world so creative, so imaginative it had to have been from You.  To take us away from our fears, our worries, our pain…and let us be free.

But alas…Monday is a brand new day.  You woke up somewhat refreshed. You started drinking more.  Not much eating…but you were showing life.  The entire surgical team came in to visit.  You had stopped bleeding.  PRAISE THE LORD.  You had a final CT scan taken and we had to wait on the results to be looked over.  

Many movies, TONS of Hobbit reading from you amazing dad and amazingly little amounts of smiles from you are what we clung to for the LONG days in the hospital.  All your anxiety attacks were calmed down by your incredible dad sitting by your bedside and soothingly reading the Hobbit and allowing you to drift off to another place outside of that little hospital room.  Sweet visitors, such as Jacob, who had been in the same fearful and painful position as you were now in only a year ago brought us to tears.  So many people praying for you all over the world.  I cannot say that enough times.  That is what sustained us.  The Lord HEARD the prayers of His people crying out for His Jake.  Thank you Lord for all the incredible people we have in our life.  WOW…we are so blessed with friends and family.  Can I ever say that enough….I don’t think so.

You had some rehab and had to make sure you could start trying to perform walking, stairs and all the “normal” things.  You got so tired.  So fast.  This discouraged you so so much.  It made it hard.  Your dad and I tried to remain so strong!

The team came back in and told us we were ALL CLEAR!  Your CT scan looked amazing.  You were going to get to go home!  

PRAISE JESUS! 

You can only imagine that we packed up so so so fast.  

We got discharged and made our way out to the car.  I was pretty frustrated by the discharge procedures.  I felt way too rushed to get out of the room.  The lady pushing out your wheelchair was way too worried about doing her task than helping the people she was working with.  So that was a little bitter, and made me more frazzled than I already was.  

You layed down in the backseat surrounded by pillows.  Every thought flooded thru our head of what the drive home could be like.  Throwing up?  Headaches?  Nausea?  Lord, just get us home.

We had no idea.

But as we got into the car and got onto the road “10,000 reasons” by Rend Collective came on Pandora and you started humming the tune.  

WATERWORKS.  Jesus you are too freaking good to us.  You are singing to us through our broken son.  Jake…you were so joyful….you could not help but sing out.

We started the trek home.  I honestly cannot even remember leaving Dallas.  So thankful for the friends we were leaving there, but so excited for the return home.  

We made it to Ferris, TX without any problem…you were sound asleep.  Then my engine hot light suddenly came on and my heart sank.  

This was the first moment on this journey my heart cried out in “why, Jesus, why???”

We pulled into a Valero and Joe started looking under the hood.  Our coolant tank was totally empty.  Joe went in to buy some more to refill, and even the man behind the counter wasn’t helpful in giving us a cup to make a funnel out of.  Joe lost his cool and came back out, poured some coolant into a water bottle and then into the tank.  The tank was drinking it up.  We had no idea if there was a leak or what.  We called some local shops…no one was able to help us at the moment.  We called our friend Derek, back in Friendswood, he tried to walk us thru some thoughts over the phone.  Then out of no where a mechanic showed up and asked us how he could help.  Literally out of no where.  By this time you were getting really hot…but being so awesome and patient…I kept reassuring you to be calm and to be patient with us.  There was a slight breeze.  

The mechanic explained to us he was on his way to Dallas for a part, but to pull two blocks down the road to his new shop and his son would be waiting for us.  He was crazy busy, but he would make it happen.  

The car made it to the shop.  They checked the pressure to see if we had any leaks and then proceeded to give us 4 jugs of coolant to take with us on the drive for just in case.  ANGELS.

Also in all of that same time Jessica had seen a post I put on instargam of the car trouble, asked where we were, and we quickly realized that she and her family were on their way back from Dallas and just one exit back from where we were at that exact moment.  They pulled over and we caravanned back to Friendswood….WHAT?!?!  Thank you Jesus.  What satan intended for our demise you brought us back o life in your strength…and even gave us an abundance with friends who could travel the road back with us.  If that is not Jesus showing us what we are blessed with than I don’t know anything.  

God’s provision in it all.  The downs, the lows, the sadness, the weakness…He was in ALL of it and even going above and beyond thru it.  

We finally made it home, safe and sound with the sweetest yard sign in our yard, a clean house, groceries in the fridge and a mowed yard.  Our village totally rocks.  There was a “hornberger boys fun fund” set up….and a meal list lasting us until September.  BLOWN AWAY does not even sum it up.  

So today I sit here.  3 weeks to the day of the accident and I cry writing this post.  So much goodness.  So much.  So much out of our control.  So much we cannot prepare for.  But in all of it God is good.  Man I am so thankful that His ways are better than my own and that I can REST in His power over us.  Our boys are His.  This journey is His.  Our marriage is His.  Life has been so so so rocky with our marriage since we have been back.  So much working thru.  So much “new normal”.  So much of our selfishness that wants to creep in.  But man…God is good, and He has sustained us…mostly sutaining us thru the words, encouragement and power of our friends and family.  So many incredible visitors, so many amazing meals.  So good yall!  Thank you!  Compassion is one of the things we gain in our weakness.  To get to now pray for those around us going thru so much pain, I consider an honor.  To help carry the burdens around us…SO many tragic burdens that have happened just in these 3 weeks around us….no, I do not at all consider that a coincidence.

Jake, I love being able to speak into your life the power of what this steak in the ground means for you.  I love being able to draw from this and push you towards Jesus.  I love how brokeness and weakness are ALL for His glory and ONLY draw us closer to Him.

As your dad so perfectly has said in this “would you ever pray for sickness or brokeness SO THAT Jesus’ name and glory can be made known?”

Thank you all for asking me about this story.  I so hope it has touched you.  Actually no….I pray…I have prayed over this story…and I hope it has touched you…not because of me, or Joe, or Jake or even our friends or family, but because of Jesus.  Because of His love for us.  No matter what…it is Jesus.

“But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Job 23:10  (thank you to my sweet friend Bethany)