Today I am thankful for the gift of brokenness.  Yup…you read that right.  Being completely and totally broken and knowing that the only way to survive or to move forward is Jesus.  This fall has been a season of complete breaking of our family.  Starting off with Jake’s accident it has only escalated from there.  Who thought it could keep going?  Well it has.  Behind our closed doors many things have been happening that have allowed for a complete and total breakdown in October.  After seeking counsel with some amazing friends (surround yourselves well, am I right??) we have begun to look forward with complete and total abandonment of the past.  We are looking now into being drastic.  To throw off the chains that formerly held us.  You know what the crazy thing is?  Satan works oh so stealthily….even in and amongst the “good” things in our lives.  The service, the kindness, the business.  He is oh so good at turning those beautiful things against us.  Oh the pride that comes out in thinking we are the answer to someone else’s problems, or the pride that comes out in thinking we need to save the world, or the pride that comes out in thinking that opening our hearts and home does not distract us from our marriage and our family.  Look at that…many “good things”…but things that, for us, slowly crept in and broke our world…and only with the power of the amazing Holy Spirit through confession, prayer and asking for forgiveness from eachother has this season actually made our marriage and our family stronger than it has ever been in our almost 12 years of marriage.  Praise God.

After the past three weeks I have never wanted my husband as my husband more than I finally do now.  I have never wanted to truly enjoy my family as I finally am enjoying my family now.  I have never.  Y’all so sad, but oh so true.  I have let my job and my selfishness get so in the way of my true calling…my family.  Joe has let his job and his selfishness get in the way of his true calling…his family.  Y’all we were BOTH looking at our jobs as ministry tools…tools to save the world…tools to bring more to Jesus…and is that a bad thing??  No way…but we were elevating that above eachother and in turn totally tearing our marriage apart.

So…today I stand OH SO THANKFUL for the gift of brokenness.  In our weakness He is strong…and I have never, ever experienced that more than the fall of 2017.  Because for what Satan intended to creep in and use for the breaking of our family, Jesus TOTALLY redeemed.  Trust me yall…we have been through it and we have come out stronger and more in love than ever before.  Did we have to go through it to get to this point?  I have no idea.  I sure hope not.  I wouldn’t wish any of this on any of your marriages…but I would wish the outcome we are now experiencing in our weakness for ALL of you, because it has been truly bliss.  I can honestly say I have never really loved Joe until now.  No lie you guys.  And honestly there is no explanation for us being able to love eachother after the amount of hurt we have inflicted and confessed to eachother…NO explanation for forgiveness in that other than the incredible love and power of Jesus Christ.

So all glory and all praise be to Him…the creator and perfecter of our faith and our marriages.

Today I am thankful for that.

Thank you to my sweet friend Haley for the beautiful family photos!!  Y’all be sure and go check out her beautiful family work here.  xoxo